NEW YORK (PIX11) -- The Vietnam War was one that ravaged the lives of many American soldiers who never came home. For tens of thousands who did return, they faced another war of healing and recovery.
“I can’t believe I survived this long. I’m 79 and can’t believe it," William Alvarez said.
Alvarez has been haunted by the trauma of war since he lost both legs after stepping on a land mine in the Vietnam jungle 47 years ago. The memories remain. They are troubling and quite vivid.
“Yes, very vivid," Alvarez said. “The only thing I remember is flying up in the air. It was a big bomb in the river ... The chaplain came over to me and said I’m going to give you last rites, so that didn’t sound too good ... Definitely beat the odds."
After 13 months in the hospital, Alvarez returned home to battle a different enemy.
“The voice in my head, being depressed, no hope, no future, never thought about tomorrow, always in moments of depression. Always thinking about the war, the explosions, the shootings," Alvarez said.
The Purple Heart he received, along with other military honors, are tokens for a hero who continued to fight the war long after it was over. He attempted suicide on three occasions.
“The third attempt, I was going to put my foot all the way to the floor, hit the gas and just crash into the wall," Alvarez said.
Alvarez said that attempt brought him to his senses, and he decided to attack the demons in his head.
"Can’t take this anymore, has to be something else, has to be a better way," Alvarez said.
He reached out to Operation Warrior Shield to participate in a program of Transcendental Meditation.
“That sort of calmed me down, the level of depression and anxiety," Alvarez said.
Determined to break the cycle of depression and hopelessness, Alvarez found his cure in a three-wheeled handcycle. He rides regularly in Central Park, joins other veterans in marathons, and has found a legion of new friends.
“It’s about doing something that’s a pleasurable activity, getting the energy out and feeling a sense of accomplishment, getting the negative energy out," Alvarez said.
These days, he can look at the fading black and white photos he saved from Vietnam without the pangs he once felt. A bachelor, the only ailment this veteran says he now feels is loneliness living alone in Manhattan.
“I’m looking for some female companionship, even at 79," Alvarez said. "I think I’m ready for that now.”
Alvarez is a profile in courage who found therapeutic virtues in a sport that helped him defeat the enemy within his own mind.
English (US) ·