Autistic teen Caitlyn Scott-Lee, who took her ain beingness astatine a prestigious backstage school, told a person she would 'rather termination myself than spell to detention', an inquest heard today.
Jonathan Scott-Lee described the 16-year-old arsenic 'daddy's girl' whose representation volition unrecorded connected successful the hearts of her household and friends.
The teen took her ain beingness astatine the £44,000 a twelvemonth Wycombe Abbey School successful Buckinghamshire aft being fixed her archetypal ever detention successful April 2023.
At the commencement of a three-day inquest into her death, Mr Scott-Lee was allowed to work a highly affectional pen representation astir his eldest child.
As helium took his spot astatine the beforehand of Beaconsfield Coroner's Court, helium placed her favourite stuffed artifact – the 2012 Olympic mascot called Wenlock – connected a table successful the beforehand of a table for witnesses.
A friend's connection was work to the tribunal successful which she said Caitlyn had mentioned that she would alternatively termination herself than person a detention, which her begetter said showed however 'painfully clear' it was that his girl was 'truly literal'.
The begetter of autistic teen Caitlyn Scott-Lee (pictured), who took her ain beingness astatine a prestigious backstage school, contiguous paid an affectional tribute to his daughter
Caitlyn is pictured with her family, arsenic her begetter paid her a heartbreaking tribute today
A three-day proceeding into the teenager's decease began contiguous successful Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire
Caitlyn's begetter Jonathan Scott-Lee (pictured) described the 16-year-old arsenic 'daddy's girl' whose representation volition unrecorded connected successful the hearts of her household and friends
Tara Scott-Lee, Caitlyn's mother, is pictured leaving Beaconsfield Coroners Court
Mr Scott-Lee, who had flown implicit from Malaysia for the inquest, was besides allowed to play a photograph montage of his girl accompanied by euphony earlier the commencement of the inquest.
The coroner, Mr Crispin Butler, adjourned the proceeding aft the speechmaking to let household members, including Caitlyn's mum Tara and grandparents, to constitute themselves.
In his pen representation Mr Scott-Lee, a banker, spoke of his pridefulness and joyousness erstwhile Caitlyn was calved aft 16 hours labour astatine a infirmary adjacent their location successful Windsor.
He said: 'The time was serene and perfect. She was our archetypal calved and was a daddy's girl. I took attraction of her, dressed her, cuddled her and soothed her.'
Mr Scott-Lee said Caitlyn would outcry erstwhile helium near for enactment but blessed erstwhile helium returned.
'We some did emotion the peculiar daddy-daughter time,' helium said.
He said the grade of her disobedience arsenic a toddler was failing to usage mouthwash erstwhile she was angry.
Caitlyn planned connected studying A-levels and was considering a vocation successful the theatre
Caitlyn Scott-Lee, 16, (pictured) was recovered dormant astatine Wycombe Abbey connected April 21 past year
Mr Scott-Lee, who had flown implicit from Malaysia for the inquest, was besides allowed to play a photograph montage of his girl accompanied by euphony earlier the commencement of the inquest
Caitlyn was recovered dormant the time earlier her archetypal ever detention astatine Wycombe Abbey (pictured)
'Disobedience did not travel easy,' helium told the coroner's court.
Mr Scott-Lee said his daughter's autism meant that she 'loved intensely' and said helium excessively has autism.
He spoke of his joyousness accompanying his girl arsenic she enjoyed assorted activities specified arsenic scuba diving, walking on the Great Wall of China and driving a car astatine the property of 13.
Briefly mentioning her death, helium said 'most radical don't privation to extremity their life, but to halt the pain.
'Like astir people, she wanted to bash good successful everything she signed up for. Of course, we listened to her and yielded though I wonderment whether I should person much actively taught her to persevere successful an imperfect world, alternatively than prematurely leap into a cleanable heaven.
He added: 'I, her precise ain father, failed to assistance my girl envision a beingness afloat of hope. I respect her bureau portion disliking her decision.'
The tribunal was told that days earlier her decease Caitlyn had written astir sidesplitting herself successful a diary she kept. She was a boarder astatine the schoolhouse whose erstwhile pupils included the justice Dame Elizabeth Butler Sloss.
The coroner said the diary entries were contained affirmative and negatives specified arsenic Caitlyn looking guardant to playing tennis.
The Coroner had ruled astatine the commencement of the inquest that school-friends who volition springiness grounds volition not beryllium named.
For help, telephone Samaritans for escaped connected 116 123 oregon sojourn samaritans.org
A father's affectional tribute to his girl whose biggest enactment of rebellion was to not usage mouthwash
THE BEGINNING
'What other Daddy? Give maine much stuff, I'm similar a sponge.' Caitlyn was an anxious 11-year-old miss enjoying learning for its ain sake. In the months earlier she near to statesman boarding schoolhouse astatine Wycombe Abbey, I would look guardant to spending clip with her connected Saturday mornings taking her to tennis lessons followed by Starbucks to enactment connected Bonds Books and Common Entrance signifier papers. She didn't ever bask the vigor and humidity of Singapore tennis lessons, nor the boredom of repetitive signifier tests, but we did some emotion the peculiar daddy-daughter time.
Of people it wasn't ever similar this. Caitlyn was calved successful October 2006 connected a beautifully crisp autumn greeting astatine Heatherwood Hospital successful Ascot. As I returned location to Windsor aft a laborious 16-hour labour, I callback however beautifully sunlit, serene, and cleanable the time felt.
Although I grew up successful an Asian patriarchal culture, I was ecstatic to find retired that my first-born would beryllium a daughter. Caitlyn was a Daddy's girl. I took attraction of her, dressed her, cuddled her, fed her, and soothed her. As she grew arsenic a toddler, determination would beryllium bitter-sweet moments wherever she would basal by the model of our location and outcry arsenic I near for my regular commute. Little did she cognize I would instrumentality each evening.
INDEPENDENCE
Caitlyn was lone property six erstwhile she started to make her independence. I erstwhile callback her proudly declare: 'Sometimes erstwhile I'm angry, I don't bash my mouthwash.' That was the grade of Caitlyn's rebellion; disobedience didn't travel people to her. As cute arsenic that whitethorn look from a six-year-old with a beauteous Asian-Caucasian complexion, her naivety changed little. Even arsenic she grew into a teenager, she carried an aggravated tendency to delight those successful authority.
I was peculiarly taken aback successful Easter 2022 erstwhile I picked up Caitlyn. I sat patiently connected the sofas of Wendover House waiting for my girl to look – unfortunately, I didn't spot her coming and she side-swiped me, beauteous overmuch tackling maine onto the sofa. It's a story that radical with autism don't person overmuch emotion. We bash – it's a batch – but it's amplified and it is internal! We are truthful often misunderstood: successful fact, Caitlyn loved so, truthful intensely but besides so, so, internally. I deliberation astir that infinitesimal a batch due to the fact that I didn't realise that idiosyncratic truthful grown up could beryllium the nonstop aforesaid 4 kilograms that I picked up connected the time she was born.
DEBILITATED BY PERFECTION
There was a fierce precociousness successful Caitlyn's emotion of learning. She loved learning for its ain involvement preferring to instrumentality joyousness successful absorbing accusation alternatively than make strategies to simply walk exams. In the months earlier her death, she would beryllium capable to sanction the flags of each nation; she was idiosyncratic you would privation connected your pub quiz team!
Shortly earlier her GCSEs were owed to begin, she wanted to driblet English Literature; connection skills specified arsenic inference could beryllium challenging but moreover, she maturely pursued a emotion of learning implicit an accumulation of grades. Like astir people, she wanted to bash good successful everything she signed up for. Of course, we listened to her and yielded though I wonderment whether I should person much actively taught her to persevere successful an imperfect world, alternatively than prematurely leap into a cleanable heaven.
Yet determination was a quaint charm to her perfection: Caitlyn would conflict to store for gifts oregon clothing, debilitated by the spectrum of prime that the satellite afforded her. There would beryllium years wherever Caitlyn would not acquisition day oregon Christmas presents… not due to the fact that she didn't care, but ironically due to the fact that she cared excessively much. She loved truthful intensely that immoderate years gifts were not cleanable enough, for those she loved truthful dearly.
A FULL LIFE
Caitlyn was truthful overmuch much than autism, Wycombe Abbey, and detention. As I prepared this Pen Portrait, I catalogued hundreds of thousands of photos of Caitlyn; similar Caitlyn, I besides recognize the satellite uniquely done the lens of a camera. Like Caitlyn, I americium besides autistic. I saw photos of Caitlyn obtaining her scuba diving licence astatine aged 10 successful the Philippines, playing tennis successful Scotland, modelling successful Singapore, camping successful Wales, riding helicopters successful New Zealand, skiing crossed Japan, honing firearm marksmanship successful Birmingham, driving astatine property 13 astatine Mercedes Brooklands, and hiking the Great Wall of China. Even I was amazed however afloat a life, Caitlyn lived successful six 1000 and forty 1 days (6,041). Rick Warren puts it well, successful his book, 'The Purpose Driven Life': Life genuinely IS a impermanent assignment. Reflecting connected these images and memories bought a peaceful joyousness to my heart.
RELATIONSHIPS
Even arsenic she ventured into the large wide world, she was capable to bash that from the comforting instauration of family. In caller years, the household instauration tragically fragmented but emotion continues successful galore forms: sisters; parents; extended family; friends; and the Wycombe Abbey community.
Relationships meant a large woody to Caitlyn. Whilst household is imposed, friends are chosen truthful I clasp the top reverence, fondness, and appreciation for those fortunate to person been Caitlyn's friend. Almost daily, Caitlyn wrote astir friendships – whether past, present, oregon adjacent aboriginal – and these relationships were often connected her mind. Now, we tin clasp her successful our hearts.
In the months pursuing Caitlyn's death, I unrecorded done the atomic blast radius that an unexpected decease causes. Caitlyn would not person wanted to unleash specified affectional devastation connected her loved ones, the community, and our nation. It would beryllium foolish to speculate whether she would person done things differently, had she known the interaction of her death. Most radical don't privation to extremity their lives; they conscionable privation the symptom to stop.
I – her precise ain begetter – failed to assistance my girl envision a beingness afloat of hope. Whatever she whitethorn person felt successful the moments starring up to her death, I respect her bureau whilst disliking her decision.
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